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It’s Not Just Midnight Pomegranate, It’s A Test November 5, 2009

Posted by tmorty in Uncategorized.
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Women seem to have all different kinds of scented soaps in their bathrooms, especially single women. I guess for the most part, the  novelty of the scented soap (I call it smelly soap) wears off after marriage. Or by then has it merely fulfilled its secret purpose?

Be kind, provide unscented soap as a second option.

The other day, I was visiting a friend and had to use her restroom. When I was finished attending to business, the only soap at my disposal was the scented soap in the picture above. Great, my hands are clean, but now they smell like Midnight Pomegranate.

Later, I could be watchin’ the game and all of the sudden, “Why do these nachos smell like pomegranate? Wait a second, it’s not the nachos, it’s my hands and they don’t smell like pomegranate, they smell like Midnight Pomegranate! It’s true that Midnight Pomegranate is a clever name. Anything with the word midnight in it has to be at least semi-cool, right? But let’s face it, I don’t want the stuff all over my hands. I wish there was an unscented alternative soap for when guests pay a visit.  I wouldn’t mind having a choice. However, it is my belief that something more sinister is at work here than just the utter humiliation of a woman making a man smell like an exotic fruit basket.

It’s now my belief that having the smelly soap as the only option is a test for us men. This is exactly why more single women carry smelly soap than married ones. Let me explain further.  It’s to test whether or not a man will 1) swallow his pride and wash his hands with the smelly soap, 2) wash his hands with water only (not recommended), or 3) not wash his hands at all (this should be illegal). If a man comes out of the bathroom smelling like he’s spent too much time near a Bath and Body Works, a woman can be sure that he not only has good hygiene, but he is also a humble person for doing so. If a man comes out of the bathroom void of the Midnight pomegranate scent she will think, “Wait a minute. Something’s wrong here. You don’t smell fruity.” And she’ll know that he is either prideful, or has bad hygiene. Either one is a deal-breaker so it makes it easier for a woman to narrow down the list of potential mates. This is why married women don’t carry smelly soap as often because they have already conducted the experiment and only repeat it every now and then on a man that had previously passed the test just to keep him on his toes. If he doesn’t pass one of the random post-marriage smelly soap experiments, is that possible grounds for divorce? I’ll let you be the judge.

Let me be clear. The author has always bitten the bullet and come out smelling the part. I’m not advocating that anyone go out and buy soap that smells like barbecue sauce or bacon for when a man comes over to visit. I’m not even suggesting that a woman should buy unscented soap as an alternative. I simply wanted to shed some light on something that at first glance may seem like a harmless activity, when in fact it might just be much, much more.

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Comments»

1. Annie - December 18, 2009

I thought I just bought smelly soap because it was smelly and I liked it, but now I am enlightened! Thanks Tom!


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