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Killer Bees & Speedos September 30, 2009

Posted by tmorty in Uncategorized.
This pic combines two of my greatest fears: killer bees and speedos

This pic combines two of my greatest fears: killer bees and speedos

I have a confession to make: I’m afraid of bees and I have been since I was very young. I’m not really afraid of heights, snakes, spiders, etc. but I am afraid of bees. Why might you ask? Because I was stung in the eye by a yellow jacket when I was a kid. There was no permanent damage to my eye as a result of the sting, but I’ve known ever since then that bees were capable of doing anything. It was traumatic and I probably should have had counseling.  Just the other day, I was out in my front yard (I think I was mowing the lawn) when a bee surrounded me. It kept getting closer so I started to swing things at it in order to make it leave. I know I looked like a total idiot to all of my neighbors. Luckily, it didn’t seem like too many people were outside watching.  The bee just kept taunting me. Eventually, they forced me to go back inside the house once I  realized that the bee had invited some friends to play too. I knew I was outnumbered and so I waited a few minutes inside until they had gone to pollinate something or make honey. It’s been a few years now, but I’ve even had dreams where I was surrounded by bees kind of like the swarm of bees scene that went down in the X-Files movie.

As for the Speedos, I guess I’m not really afraid of them, I’m just not a fan of the traditional Speedo and when I saw the hideous picture above while doing a search for killer bees, I couldn’t resist posting it.  A colleague of mine once said that men shouldn’t wear anything in public that broadcasts a “prominent package”. I think her words are wise and I fully endorse them. Some say it’s “European” to wear a Speedo, but I say that it’s not European, it’s just plain dumb.  I don’t really care if you like the way it shapes your junk, keep it to yourself and wear a real swimsuit buddy! I guess another fear of mine could be being attacked by bees while only wearing a Speedo, but that would never happen as there’s no way I’d ever run around in that modern-day loin cloth. When it comes to killer bees and someone sporting a pair of Speedos at the beach or the pool, I run as far away from both of them as humanely possible.



1. katie - September 30, 2009

tom, you better be careful about what you post on here as far as pictures go! someone might take a look and wonder why tom put a picture up of two men with mullets and wearing speedos with a bee design! they might be thinking chip n’ dales!…. hahaha! jk the bee colored speedos….I think that is probably one of my greatest fears!

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